“Hey I like your T-shirt, it’s a different colour to what you usually wear.”
“I like the new hairdo. It really brings out your eyes.”
“That was a great presentation. You have a really good sense of humour.”
Compliments go a long way, more than you may think, if they’re genuine and sincere. When given right, they are instant relationship strengtheners and a great tried-n-tested method for boosting positivity in the atmosphere.
Compliments are the bomb because:
- They take time off of yourself for a while and give others a chance under the spotlight.
“Never keep a compliment to yourself.”~Samantha Kadrmas
- Compliments make people feel good about themselves. #DopamineRush
“Everybody likes a compliment.”~Abraham Lincoln
- They build trust in and out your social circle. People will like your company.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”~George MacDonald
- Compliments are like a boomerang. It comes back to you. Do good to your karma.
“What goes around, comes around.”
- Genuine compliments spark creativity through observations from a keen eye.
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”~Maya Angelou
- They even work on enemies. ‘Kill em’ with kindness.’
“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.”~Mahatma Gandhi
- If your day isn’t going too well, complimenting others can help lift up your spirit.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”~Mark Twain
- And finally, compliments are complimentary. They’re FREE!
“I don’t care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing.”~Queen Latifah
After reading stuff from various psychology websites, I’ve come to learn it’s a fundamental social skill. So, complimenting people is more important than you think. And you don’t need to be an expert to do it well either. You just need to notice more and be genuine really. Don’t give compliments just for compliment sake. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Horton would agree.
Oh and specifics. The more specific your compliment the better. Scroll back up, you’ll find that the above examples have an observation object (T-shirt/hairdo/presentation) and observation specifics (colour/eyes/humour). Not only are you being honest in your observation but it also opens up a topic to continue the conversation and it builds on from there. So boys, take note: “Hey, um…I like your face” is NOT going to work.
Giving compliments is only one side of the coin, receiving them with gratitude is another. More often that not, compliments are received with an awkward silence, or a mere polite “thanks.” How much more boring and mundane can that get!
You know what’s worse? Discounting compliments altogether. For instance, you compliment someone’s outfit and he/she replies with, “Oh this old thing? I’ve had it for years.” Or when you congratulate someone on a good speech and they reply, “Oh I just put some stuff together in ten minutes, it wasn’t that great.”
Grrrr, such party poopers. Responses like that instantly suck the positivity out of the air and deflate the donor. They make the giver feel stupid for noticing and commenting on something so unworthy of praise. They totally invalidate the person’s judgement and create a social awkwardness, and that my friends, is embarrassing.
If someone gives you a compliment, remember that this is their gift to you and accepting it with a genuine smile and a grateful response is your return gift. It takes confidence to compliment someone, so don’t devalue their effort by playing it down.
Here are simple sample replies to the compliments at the top of the page:
“Hey thanks, yes I really wanted to try something new today. I guess it suits me then?”
“Thank you dear, I was secretly hoping someone would notice haha. Great start to the morning.”
“Thank you bud, I was worried if the jokes were any good but phew. It was a pleasure working with you on this project.”
See? Easily done.
So quick recap:
- 8 reasons why complimenting is the bomb.
- Make sure your compliments are genuine and honest.
- Mean what you say and say what you mean.
- Add specifics for seasoning your compliments.
- Receive compliments with a smile and genuine gratitude.
Inhale the positivity in the atmosphere around compliments and savour the bonds created by them. Take on the challenge- try to compliment someone at least once a day. I know I do. Because that folks, is what it is like Being Naseem.